Everyone has different experiences of asexuality. No two people discover they’re asexual in exactly the same way. However, many asexual people have had some of these experiences.
You may be asexual if you…
Some things that asexuality is not
There are a number of misconceptions around asexuality, many of which this website addresses in detail. This page summarises our responses to many of the more common misunderstandings.
Mapping out the sexual spectrum
Asexuality is a spectrum. From people who have never felt sexual attraction to those who just aren’t sure how they feel, the asexual spectrum encompasses a wide range of experiences.
Sexual attraction vs sexual arousal
Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. The concept of ‘sexual attraction’ can be tricky to grasp, especially for those who experience sexual attraction hand in hand with other experiences.
Romance and the asexual spectrum
The existence of separate spectrums of romantic and sexual attraction means there is a wide range of possible romantic identities that asexual individuals may identify with.
Aromanticism and the aromantic spectrum
Aromanticism describes not experiencing romantic attraction. The romantic spectrum is a spectrum of its own, separate from the asexual spectrum. Some aromantic people are allosexual and some are asexual.
Intersections of sexuality and age
Asexual people hear many reasons from others to explain asexuality away as something treatable. Asexuals of all ages are wrongly told that their sexuality is a temporary product of their age.
Demisexuality and demiromanticism
Demisexuals and demiromantics are individuals who need to form a strong emotional bond with someone before sexual or romantic attraction can occur.
Asexual people and relationships
Different asexual people want different types of relationships (or none at all). There is no one ‘right’ way to have a relationship.
Asexuality and mental health conditions
Some asexual people, like people of every sexuality, have experienced trauma or mental conditions such as depression or anxiety. However, asexuality itself is not a mental condition.
Forms of non-sexual and non-romantic attraction
There are forms of attraction besides sexual and romantic. Two of these that are often talked about in asexual/aromantic communities are Aesthetic and Sensual attraction.
Resources and further reading
One of the Trust’s primary goals is to distribute educational material about asexuality throughout our community. Explore this page to find our ever-expanding archive of resources.
Asexuality New Zealand Trust 